Random Thoughts

I've been thinking alot lately about my life, and the unexpected turns it has taken.  Maybe its the new baby, the new house, the new life....I'm not sure.  My life is so different than it was a few years ago.  I feel like I am back to the Therena I once was....long ago.....before all the heartache.  I feel like me again, and that I don't ever have to hide who I am or how I feel. I never knew marriage and family and life could be like it is for me now.  Of course life is still hard sometimes, it always will be.  But its hard in a different way...the right way....the way it should be hard.  But for the most part my life is beautiful, and peaceful, and happy.  I am in awe of this man I am married to.  He is more than I could ever ask for, and I often feel so undeserving of him.  I am in awe of my older boys who have struggled through what I've struggled through, but have remained strong and brave, and patient as we made so many transitions.  I am in awe of this new little person that has joined our family. His presence in our home has brought us all together.  But most importantly, I am in awe of the Lord's love for his children. His tender mercies.  The overflowing blessings he bestows upon us.  I will never forget the struggles I went through or the heartache......but I believe that because of that I am more grateful for the things I have now.  I will forever be grateful to the Lord for bringing me here, to this point in my life....for allowing me to feel the heartache, so that I can truly experience the joy.